Category: Haiku

Seeking a Collective Noun

If it’s “school of fish” and “raft of ducks,”
Then what would the grouping-word be for schmucks?
“A swarm of schmucks” is sweet to say.
To “box of schmucks” I’ll not say nay.
“Cohort” and “legion” have classical rings,
And “chorus” would work, if the schmucks like to sing.
Yet puzzling’s done. It’s time to say fuck it:
I think I’ll be taking my schmucks by the bucket;
For “a bucket of schmucks” is a barrel of laughs,
Almost as good as “a tower of giraffes.”

Mississippi Egrets Haiku

Last Saturday (September 20, 2008), I went canoeing down the Black Creek River in Mississippi. All day long, there were these two egrets in front of us. They rested in trees along the bank, until we almost caught up to them, and then they would fly a few yards downstream, to wait for us to come up. No matter how swiftly or slowly we paddled, they were always there, leading us. We stopped for an hour to eat and swim, and when we got started again, they got back to guiding us. It was so quiet, you could hear the fluttering of their wings. It was poignantly unreal, like a Chinese or Japanese poem, painting, or film.

Back home, I composed a mediocre English and (with Yuka’s help) a pretty good Japanese haiku.

Autumn, the river,
Egrets constantly guiding,
Leading us downstream

夏過ぎて
白鷺共に
川下リ

(Natsu sugite
Shirasagi tomo ni
Kawa kudari)